Huzzah for Samuel Pepys

 is that a pen in your hand, Mr. Pepys, or are you just happy to see me?

Look.

No, look up here.

I don't do this for just everyone, every day.

But if the online version of your essay about Samuel Pepys in the digital age comes out in Creative Nonfiction Magazine on the very day of the old man's 379th birthday, and you just happen to have made a "Samuel Pepys Is My Homeboy" t-shirt available for purchase back in 2010 because you really have the hots for dead 17th-century diarists, well--

You have to come across with the goods, right?

Seriously. I know you just read me for the articles.